Sunday, May 20, 2007

a little more conversation, a little more persistence

We vent out our emotions with a friend.

We speak to those who we know cant solve the issue.

We open out to those who are not in any position to intervene(apart from telling them everything, we ask them not to do anything about it).


When do we stop communicating with the ones who matter? the one with whom we have a problem that needs to be addressed?

Is the issue with the mode of communication or the tone of communication. We tend to write a letter to the person who is there right next to us or send email to the person we spend our days with.

We fear confrontation, we avoid conflicts ( wont work all the time ) and we fear the outcome...

The details we provide, the way we narrate....The hours of discussion we have with a friend, we dont spend even 10-20% of that with the one with whom we have the issue, the one we love.

I believe self-awareness coupled with responsibility is a crucial ingredient.Also the realization that you can change your behaviour to make the other person change.

when do we stop talking?
when do we stop persisting?
when did anything else become more important than the relationship, the love?
when do we realize that we have built a wall?
what do we keep waiting for?

A tiny bulb goes out somewhere in a magnificient array of glimmerling lights and we dont notice that.soon, another one go off elsewhere... gradually...

What stops us from taking a step back from the emotions of issues and instead focus on finding positive, practical solutions?

Speak to the person with whom you have an issue, a problem. Communicate, talk to them. Not with others who cant do anything about it and pretty soon they are gonna just hear out for the sake of it.

Would like to quote a few from that wonderful book, Notes To Myself -

For communication to have meaning it must have a life. It must transcend
"you and me"
and become
. If I truly communicate, I see in you a life that is not me and partake of it. And you see and partake of me. In a small way we then grow out of our old selves and become something new. To have this kind of sharing I cannot enter a conversation clutching myself. I must enter it with loose boundaries. I must give myself to the relationship, and be willing to be what grows out of it.

I must do these things in order to communicate: Become aware of you (discover you). Make you aware of me (uncover myself). Be ready to change during our conversation.And be willing to reveal my changes to you.

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