Pursuing gratification

In the 1960s a group of four-year olds were tested by being given a marshmallow and promised another, only if they could wait 20 minutes before eating the first one. Some children could wait and others could not. The researchers then followed the progress of each child into adolescence, and demonstrated that those with the ability to wait were better adjusted and more dependable.

Had read this in the book by Daniel Goleman - years ago in which he spoke about deferred gratification, which is defined as "the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants".

It sounds pretty simple and straight forward, but would mankind warm up to this idea? Most of us have poor impulse control and dont have the required patience to grow with an experience.

Watched the movie - The Pursuit Of Happyness recently.

To me, it was just the title which provoked my thoughts more than anything else. No, am not talking about the "y" in happyness...!

Happiness is quite often compared to a butterfly and its a fascinating thought that someone would embark on a quest to catch that butterfly..

Happiness is also referred to as something which a person carries within himself and should one pursue it outside?

Leaving aside all these the cliche'd definitions of happiness, I would think its a quest for something to do, something to hope for.

Now think about the characters in the movie and the terms - instant gratification and deferred gratification. You would know what I am talking about...

Pursuing higher education, pursuing perfection, pursuing excellence...
Probably, we should consider "The Pursuit of Happiness" along the same lines...though it need not necessarily lead one to contentment, to happiness.

Or, am I wrong?

Poetry, Anyone?

Most of us dont read poetry.
Why?

Beyond school, we dont dig into poetry...wonder why??
Is poetry stuff for dreamers? For folks who arent practical?

Poetry isnt just decorative stuff, there is more substance to it and it can convey something more profound than hundreds of pages of a novel.

I have enjoyed poets and poetry all along and most of them have stayed on in my minds and influenced me in one way or the other...

There a few folks who dont dig into music, but there is a great majority of folks who enjoy music - no matter what the genre is...but then why dont we just enjoy poetry?

why are we hesitant to visit the poetry section of a bookstore? why dont we even think about it?

Whatever be your reason, make sure it rhymes!
:-)


See if you can make a start today and read a nice poetry and pass it onto others....

Just a few useful links, should you want to start today -

Hindi

Harivansh Rai Bachchan

Collection of hindi poems



Tamil

Subramaniya Bharathi


English

William Wordsworth - Lucy Gray

Rabindra Nath Tagore - Paper Boats

Rudyard Kipling - If

John Keats - A Thing Of Beauty


Pablo Neruda - Enigmas

Go on, find your song...and sing it out the way you want, to your tune and not to someone else's....

How influential are we ?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/influence

influence - the action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another or others:

Can a perfectly happy and content person be influenced by me to become unhappy, restless, dissatisfied & dis-illusioned? Does it signify his weakness or my strength ?

--> The converse could work too, but the question would remain the same.

Is the act of influencing an instantaneous step or long drawn process ?

Are positive influences quick to take effect or the negative influences ?

Does a positive influence stay longer with the person who has been influenced or does the negative influence ?

Would you consciously ever strive ( contrive ) to influence someone in a positive ( or negative ) way ?

I have worked with good teams for 8 years. I have worked worked, earned the praise from the customers and supervisors alike. Worked under great supervisors for the first 3 years. That has influenced me when I became a supervisor myself. Has that been a positive influence on me and would it influence the person who now reports to me ?

Is influence all about the person who is trying to control, making an impact or is also about the person who is absorbing all these ?

Sons of great masters dont become great masters themselves. Arent the great masters influential enough ?

The personalities whom we attract towards us are those who are influenced by us in some manner or the other. Does it reach a point where we get influenced by them ?

How much can we influence our friends, our parents, our spouse , our colleagues ? Our children ?

Should we ? Shouldnt we ? Consciously ?


Can this write-up influence you ?
;-)

What Gets You Going

We wake up and smell the coffee every day, day after day (or flowers or the burnt toast, doesnt matter). We freshen up, go to school or go to work. The details vary, depending on our age and current occupation. The places and people could change or could remain much the same.

No matter whatever be the role you are donning right now -

School / College
At the start of a career
Spouse & Kids
Grandpas

there is always an incentive....

[[ I didnt use the word 'motivation' deliberately. Its considered a holier word. Incentives sound practical and are quick to think and talk about. ]]

What is the incentive in store for you? Why do you do whatever you are doing - right now?

Are the incentives tangible ?
Are the incentives constantly changing ( by the day / month / year ) ?
Is your state of mind proportional to the incentives you intend to achieve ?
Are the incentives short-lived, though the task was arduous ?
Are the incentives superfluous ?


Regardless of its nature, I dont think that we do anything without an incentive in sight ( or in mind - subconscious or otherwise ).

So, What Gets You Going?